Duff light and Simpson's skateboarding
Last year I was in Orlando, Florida strolling down the roads of Universal Studios. What a place! So much to see and I did all I could to see it all. The one stop I had to make was in Springfield.
Growing up I watched the piss out of The Simpsons. Most of the jokes flew right over my head but for the most part I was entertained. The Simpson's video game franchise deserves so much more than what my meager writing skills can provide. The one game I will single out is their god-fuckin-awful skateboarding game.
Why do I enjoy pain so much? I remember these shitty games while I drink and ruin my good vibes. Emotionally damaged? Perhaps. Or maybe I get off on the pain. Who knows?
Let’s dive in to this horrible rip-off of everything that made Tony Hawk games popular but instead Simpsons themed.
The game was released in 2002 on the PS2. Like I said, it is nothing more than a THPS rip-off. Everything you do in THPS, except poorly designed and flawed, you do here. Get points, complete objectives, bounce off everything. Perfect for the diehard Simpsons fan. Or for those drunk.
Graphically, the game is like what would happen if a PS1 game got a HD reboot on the PS2. There is nothing to look at but your character. Everything is blocky and boring. Looks smooth since there's nothing on the screen.
Hope you like royalty free Ska music. Because that's all there is. What is great for five minutes is the voice actors from the show took a major pay cut to come do some generic lines. They get old fast. I'm not sure why you would be playing this game, but if you do, play it on mute.
If the controller was unplugged, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyways. Clunky controls and the moves feel stiff all the way through. THPS felt smooth and it was like you were on the street tearing it up. This game however mimics that of real life if you never knew what a skateboard was and just jumped on it. More than likely your busting your ass then that board.
It is a game in the most literal sense. But, is it fun? Are you drunk or on illegal drugs? I have to ask because that is the only possible way you would agree it's fun. It is repetitive but not in that fun way THPS titles are. I could free skate on THPS 3 for hours. Simpsons skateboarding was unable to do what other skateboarding games accomplished. Being enjoyable.
The objectives are not creative, and neither is the level design. Everything feels thrown together and is nothing more than a way to slap the Simpson's name on something just to sale a product.
This game sucks. At the time, I didn't know any better and it was another game in the collection I am not sure how it got there. I spent more time on that game than I should have while listening to Mudvayne and Soulfly.
What I did find out after my trip to Universal Studios is Duff is just Heineken. So just drink a lot of that if you're dumb enough to play this trash ass game.
Enjoy your drinks and game on.
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