Go race a real bike instead of playing Monster Motocross

Redbox is a deal. Gamefly might be better, but for now Redbox is my go to for new games. $3 a night is steep for a rental. Compared to full price $3 isn't bad especially when the game is hot garbage.  

My dad wanted to give Monster Motocross a try, so I took him around the corner to the nearest Redbox. Afterwards we went to QT for some 40s. That was one of the only positives of the night.

The game file isn't large so installing was a breeze compared to some other games we have got in the past. From the first couple of minutes I could tell Monster Motocross was going straight to the list, the "Games that can go fuck themselves" list. 

Game Modes

Career is there but didn't bother with it since we only had the game a night. There's all the usual racing modes like time trials and open track racing. No fucking multiplayer unless it's online. Bullshit when you have people sitting next to you with a controller in hand wondering why they can't play too. What racing game doesn't have that mode? 


Have you ever played a game that had one menu track? Common. Has that been the only track the game had? Probably not. Unless you're playing fuck ass Monster Motocross. One track is all you get. It's not even that good either. The bikes during racing sound good. In-game sound design is impressive up until the revving of your bike becomes more annoying than real life. We had to turn off all audio for this game. That bad.


The graphics are impressive. One of the only redeeming factors of this game. I feel like they put all the budget in the graphics and said, "fuck it, ship it." Watch gameplay to see what I'm talking about.


Here is my number one complaint about this fuckfest. I would imagine I could sign up for a race right now without any experience and place better than I ever could in this damn game. The controls are fucking horrible. It's dirt bike racing not fucking Gran Turismo. It was easier to control supercars in a racing simulator that is Gran Turismo. One mistake and you will be lucky if you catch up in the race. God forbid you make two because then you might as well turn off the game and do something productive, you know, like actually race a real bike. Maybe I should have adjusted the sensitivity. You would think straight out the gate the game would be forgiving. Nope. The tutorial is screen on the text you have to go hunting for. Not that helpful.


Fuck this game. I am 15% Monster and still I couldn't play this game. Good thing it's not full price like others on the shelf. I want my $3 back. The best part of the game was the loading screen, so I could drink my 40.

Go ride a real dirt bike or drink 40s looking at a blank screen. But if you are a huge motocross fan than give it a try, drunk that it is.

Enjoy your drinks and game on.

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