Taaka: Worst Vodka I've Ever Had

Want to read about the worse vodka I've ever had. Well, OK, if you must.

Taaka is the worse vodka I have ever gulped down. The only flavor present is alcohol. For the price, what can you expect? Much more is the answer.

Sazerac Company, based out of New Orleans, Louisiana, has been producing this "vodka" since 1959. Which is a long time to produce something that tastes like ass. Actually, ass tastes better than this. Speaking from experience on this one. Don't judge me. Especially if you are a prude who has never indulged. Don't knock it till you try it or in this case tossed a salad with intent.

Taaka does have some redeeming factors. Sazerac may have unknowingly created a shit vodka that isn’t that bad. Here are two reasons that may give you a second look at whatever unholy shelf this Taaka sits on.


Over this weekend, the misses and I stopped by one of favorite haunts, Specs. For those not familiar, Specs is a chain liquor store that wishes it was Total Wine. For those not familiar, Total Wine is the rich man's Specs. Kind of like the heirachy I created with Waffle House, Denny's, IHOP. If your country does not have any of these, the best way to explain is think of one shitty place, then think of another that's not as bad as the original one you thought of. 

Anyways, I walked in as usual looking for something cheap and a lot of. I wanted another vodka like Nikolai. Should've just got another Nikolai, but whatever. I spotted Taaka with its eleven-dollar price tag. 

1.75L of 80 proof vodka, for that price was a steal. Hell, I'm writing this after a good gulp of the stuff. Barely put a dent on the bottle. For the price, not worth it. 

Unless you find it cheaper and here's why.

Cheap Mixer

For the price you have a mixer that masks well with soda. I used Dr. Pepper I got earlier with my dinner from a chicken tender joint. If your country doesn't offer breaded deep-fried chicken tenders, fucking move! Chicken is best served in this manner. Don't believe me? Well your fucking dumb for not. 

Initially when I drank Taaka neat I realized it was possible to make a drink that was truly horrible compared to all other alcoholic beverages. They all burn the same, except Taaka. Taaka decided it was going to set the bar for pain when consuming. 

But I found it's weakness. Wasn't difficult either. Just mix it. For a cheap mixer I suggest this shit. Fuck everything else, Sazerac got down to the basics on what makes drinking fun. The alcohol. If I owned a bar, Taaka would be my house vodka. After three drinks you wouldn't know any better.

Final thoughts

Taaka mixed is great for the budget drinker such as myself. I'm trying to see straight as I type because this garbage is kicking in. If you want something that has flavor look elsewhere. If you're like me who doesn't want to spend a lot and just wants that quick buzz, then grab a bottle. Small investment for cheap fun. 

Taaka pairs well with Tetris. Cliche. I know but after a few mixed drinks you won't care how close you are to the top of the screen. You might pass out before you get to the top anyway.

Enjoy your drinks and game on.

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