Ramblings of a drunk person




The hangover. You know that feeling when you wake up wondering why the fuck you drink? I get that feeling more often than I should. Why do we do it? Some might be saying, "but Anthony I don't drink that much." Fuck off for lying. We all know you drink that much.

I'm at the age where I know my limit. I know when enough is enough or how I should've ate more before drinking. I feel the regret as I type. I can feel the tingle. I can feel my mouth getting dry. The small amount of water I just drank isn't going to do a damn thing to prevent the shit storm that will occur tomorrow when I wake.

So why do it at all?

Fuck if I know. Why do we do anything we do? Why live? Why breathe? Why work shitty jobs we hate with fuck ass people we hate? What is the meaning of life?

If you couldn't tell by now, this is the incoherent rambling I promised in my Instagram profile. Or wherever the fuck I wrote it.

The problem is why continue to drink beyond our limits. Why can't we stop? We can feel way before we our limit, yet we continue. There is no point. I believe there's comfort in being drunk. We can let go. We can blame it on the alcohol for actions. All the dumb shit that comes out our mouths isn't us, or at least that's what we tell others. "A drunk speech, is a sober mind's thought" or however you say that dumbass quote. Some truth is there. 

We let go. We lower our defenses. Alcohol is a drug, abused by countless numbers. But you know what? In moderation it can be fun. It can be a party drug. It can be the liquid courage needed by many to make themselves vulnerable to put themselves out there. Without a drink or two this blog would've never came to fruition. I needed that extra push to write. Why?

Because I suck as a writer. Whoopty fuckin do. Everyone sucks when they try something out for the first time. I knew if I didn't just do it, I never would. I said fuck it one day and started writing. I didn't really need alcohol. But, it helped me put my fears aside and publish my work.

Don't let alcohol be your crutch to do what it is you want to do. But if it helps, have a drink to help them nerves. I have a lot of anxiety. Borderline crippling. I self-medicate with the finest medicinal Canadian whiskey, Royal Crown. Too often I might add.

All this rambling is to say, I know now why I drink. To calm my nerves. I can't sleep because of anxiety. I self-medicate and do probably more harm than good depending on who you ask. That's ok. Life is short, and I know without taking off the edge here and there none of my dreams and aspirations would get done.

I am living proof of a train wreck happening in slow motion. Except every calculated step I make towards my own personal success makes the train impact not as bad. I somehow save a few passengers, or I minimalize the damage.

I'm starting feel like as though I open up the more relief there is. If you're reading this far, you must feel as trapped as me. Trapped inside your in own head. It sucks. I know. It'll get better once you get some "fuck it" in your system. 

Remember this, you're going to die. Everything and everyone will. You have one chance at life. Make the most out of it. Be vulnerable. Feel embarrassed. Make a damn fool of yourself.

Why? 

Because it will be fun. I believe life is a joke. We are a given an arbitrary amount of time on this Earth without knowing our expiration date. We don't know when our "time" is. So why not have fun? There are people that work so damn hard for shit they can't take with them once they're dead.

Do whatever you want within reason. If you're not hurting anyone do what you want. 

Holy shit! I am literally rambling. My heavens, this time change and vodka is kicking my ass. I should wrap this up.

Look, do you. Whatever it is. Make a calculated leap of faith. Don't fuck up a good life for a pipe dream. Especially if you have people that depend on you. I'm just saying live a fulfilling life whatever it may be without harming others.

I seriously got to go because I am getting that head twist where things are starting to spin around. You're reading a blog where the author is giving you a play by play of him racing the clock before they vomit from too much drinking.

Enjoy your drinks and whatever, fuck off or whatever. I mean game on. 

Ps I came up with that drunk, so whatever. You come up with something better. It's my thing. I like it because it incorporates drinking and gaming somehow.

Fuck you! you aren’t my parents. I can write whatever I want. i don't need permission from you. 

Those last few lines were for comedic relief because shit was getting heavy. Seriously if you got this far, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It gives me purpose knowing I gave you a few moments of entertainment. I found my purpose in life and that is to entertain.

Real talk, I owe you something. Find a way to message, the first 50 people to tell me lover muffin will get something special.

Enjoy your drinks and game on.

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